Something 'Meh', Something Bad, Something Good
- 29 Posts
- Age 20
It has been 3 months.
3 months since I haven't written anything not only to VoY but even to a piece of paper. Why did this happen? Was I heartbroken with something, was I disappointed in my work? Didn't I had anything to write? No, none of these was the problem. In fact I had many things to write about. Yet I didn't write anything, I didn't even try.
This didn't haunt me but It didn't make me happy either. It was like I was in a limbo: the fact that I wasn't writing anything wasn't torturing me but I wasn't okay with it too. I was thinking that writing should be easy, there were people who were able to sit down everyday regardless of their schedule and create something whereas I just lived and time flew before I managed to appreciate anything.
And it gets harder, you know? The more you don't write, it gets harder to grasp and gather your experiences or thoughts and to start right again. The more you don't write, the more you want to come back with something big. The more you want to create something big, the more you don't write. This cycle goes on and on until you either get really lucky to live up to your plan or you suck it up, swallow your writer's pride and make an honest comeback. Guess which one of them I am doing right now... Yes you are correct.
So what happened this time? If I stalled you enough, now we can get to the part where I share my experiences. When I thought about it, I realized three things played part in my writing draught. I call these:"Something 'meh', something bad, something good ".
Something 'meh': Having/experiencing too much stuff to write
I know this sounds like I'm bragging or something but it's true. Having too much to write equals having nothing to write. Because writing something creative or argumentative requires a clear mind (at least during the brief time you are writing) so that you can focus on what you want to write, do your research and built something intellectual. When you have a lot of topics on your mind It is harder for you to create something like it is harder to make a garden out of a jungle (and bad for environment so let's leave jungles alone) than out of a plain land. The same thing goes for experiencing and doing too many things that you can write about. Because two things occur then: you don't find the time to put your experience to paper, and you start to not see that your experiences are worth writing. They became ordinary for you and you stop seeing the point to write.
How to solve this, is by reminding ourselves that each moment of our life is unique and that we can never know what will inspire others. And also with some time management (something I am not the master of).
Something Bad: Having too many people around you, who does the same stuff as you
Sharing your experiences with the people you care and the people people who are passionate is something we should always cherish. People are the ones who make an experience unique and sometimes worth having. But also the group of people you work with can create a social bubble. A bubble where your experience might not seem that special. You might look at people and think: "They are way more involved than me and they are not writing about this, so maybe there isn't much to write?". This is why it's "something bad", because actually having people should only inspire you more; but it isn't the case all the time. This happened to me a lot during the last few months. I wanted to write about the things that I achieved but couldn't do it because I saw others took it as casual tasks. This feeling pushed me further in my "not writing" pit.
Later I realized that (one) writing isn't for everyone and (two) other people don't necessarily know better than you! They might be just as lost as you and might be unable to realize what kind of treasures they hold within. So I understood that writing about my experiences isn't just something I am allowed to do; but it is something I should do to inspire others.
Something Good: Canalizing creativity
Writing is sometimes (or always?) an outcome of the creative energy we have. When you have a lot of creativeness and have only one tool, then you create a lot of stuff with that tool. But when you discover other tools, you start to spread your creativeness. This is what happened to me in the last few months and this is for sure a good thing.
As you can remember (or not, since it was six months ago) I wrote a blog about a meeting I attended. During the preparation of that meeting, I discovered a whole new passion of mine: graphic design. Now, I have always been a kid who used to draw stuff everywhere (having a super talented best friend helped) but writing was always a rather more useful and specific way for me to express myself. This time I found a way to integrate my artistic side with the work I did. So as you can understand most of my creativeness went to the discoveries I made with 3 simple (not so actually) design programs.
This was very fulfilling for me because It wasn't just about making my voice heard, it was about making others' voices more visible. It was about empowerment, it was about inspiration and harmony. Therefore you can say I am not sorry about this one :) Well... Maybe finding the balance between designing and writing can be done.
This is it! The reasons I have been lost for so long. But now, I have many stories (that I hope) to tell. I have spent a month with the most amazing international students, finished second year in med school, worked for the biggest medical education conference of the world in Helsinki, and experienced many amazing things in between.
So hello VoY! It is great to see you again.