- 7 Posts
- Age 22
Since I was a teenager I have been dealing with the constant fear of not being enough, and I have noticed this is an idea a lot of people struggle with.
But, what is it that we actually fear? What are its roots? How can we NOT be enough?
Figuring all this out has been the theme of my year. By stepping deep into this topic and sitting down in meditation with my own insecurities, I realised that perfectionism is rooted in fear; fear of opinions, fear of what others would think, fear of criticism. Therefore, perhaps we think that by doing everything “perfectly” no one will criticise us, and that is great because, deep down, we don`t know how to deal with that criticism. We shy away and beat ourselves up.
Consequently, something I have observed in my own actions and feelings is that when I try to do something the “perfect” way, I get paralysed; I don`t know where to start. The idea of producing something flawless gets too overwhelming. Perfectionism paralyses us. It makes us miserable, it is a weight we put on our shoulders, and it takes the joy out of our activities. We are always worried, and it ends up having an impact on our emotional and mental health.
Nevertheless, I have come to understand that striving for perfection and committing to give my best at everything I do (accepting that failure is only a circumstance rather than an identity) are two very different mindsets.
Lastly, a few days ago I was listening to a TedTalk called “Girl Up: The Secrets to an Extraordinary Life”, by Courtney Ferrell, and a few minutes into it, I experienced a striking realisation when she said: “Perfection is not a human quality, don`t even aspire to it. Just be good enough.”
As it is, changing habits is a process and it takes time, but always remember that, as one of my favourite artists - Broadway`s Sierra Boggess - says: “You are enough. You are so enough, it`s unbelievable how enough you are.”