- 60 Posts
- Age 28
While some of us were born strong and fearless, others may be born less strong and fighting their own fears. Some people might have been able to embrace the world, while some of us spent most of their life struggling through every step of the path. Some of us might have a life time of searching for themselves and trying to understand who they are. A life time of trying to accept themselves and to see through their imperfections. It is not easy, sometimes, to enjoy a simple life where everything is handed to you whether by birth or by life. Some of us might have spent a life journey to know their strengths and qualities, or to even build up dreams and goals. And, to accept that they are brave enough to walk through life without regrets. For some of us it was not easy to be a human, to have relationships and to able to communicate with world outside.
The people spending their life time trying to prove to themselves that they are worth every good in the world, may miss out on fulfilling their dreams and having a life.
I am one of them, I shared their failure and misunderstanding. I had to go through a lot to build a life that I am proud to call mine, just like them. I am not ashamed of my insecurities and flaws anymore, but to reach this conclusion I had to face things that hurt me. I did not know what to do most of the time and I treated myself the same way the people around me back then treated me. I did not like who I was and, I only saw my weaknesses and flaws. I wanted to do more but the people I called friends held me back and pushed me to the ground. They bullied me because I was bigger and they ignored me because I was an introvert. They did not like being around me because I used to keep to myself. And, all the people who I thought cared for me abandoned me. I had my own doubts regarding friendships for years and, I remember promising myself that I would not let anyone into my life because no one was worth it. I remember being on my own for a long time, until I forgot how to act around people and I still do sometimes, because old habits do not die easily. I did not know what to dream or what I wanted to be. My mind was crowded and, I did not know what to do with these ideas of mine. I wanted to be everything and nothing. I had to jump over myself to see that I am not weak and that I am not alone. Because, do you know what is my ultimate fear? It is loneliness! I am afraid of being left alone and not having anyone in my life. And, that fear blocked me from doing anything, I desired to do. The idea of being lonely within a crowded world scared me to death. I looked around me for people to trust, people that are not my own family. I found some but lately I am questioning my choices. I still have my own doubts but I am stronger today because I am able to cut out those who do not deserve to be in my life and, to stop trusting them and caring for them because they do not give me the amount of love I am giving to them.
I am bolder today to call things my own and to fight for the dreams I am carrying within me. The dreams that are part of who I am. I am stronger today to fight for the things I call my own and to fight for those who deserve to fight for. And, to speak up for people and help them see the light inside them. To remind them that there is light even in the dimmest of places. I am brave enough to hold their hands and stand up together regardless of the storm’s strength.
I might be old but my spirit is young and my dreams are young! I might be 28 years old and, I am subjected to certain limits like the people in my age, however, I am not most people and my dreams are ageless. Thus, you do not have the right to tell me what I can and cannot do! You cannot tell me that I am old for pursuing my dreams or for being part of things that I want to do. I did not have the luxury of a perfect youth to fulfill all my dreams and to build the life I see fit for myself. However, today I am stronger, braver and bolder to do it all and to live it all.
Because, dreams are ageless!