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We are all human

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JR Ang, student

عضو منذ ٢٦ يناير، ٢٠١٨
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I want to start off with this conversation I had with one of my classmates. Let’s call him John. So, we were having lunch when this topic about what type of friends we should have in life came up, and we sort of had a “debate” over something he said. (It’s a friendly one though, not involving fights and drama)

John: Never befriend a person who possesses negativity.

Me: Why not?

John: Because he will not make a good friend with all his bad thoughts. Positive people bring you to “nice places” while negative people drag you to “hell”.

Me: If everyone thinks like this, negative people will never have friends? Are you expecting them to be all alone when everyone is finding someone positive, charming, cheerful, optimistic?

John: But you will be the one who suffers if you make friends with them!

Me: What if we could change it. Help them to find positivity?

You may think that this is fake and you are free to judge that, but it’s a real conversation that happened and it ended with him left wordless. But it kind of stuck in my mind and had me thinking about it for quite a long time.

Search the phrase ‘negative people’ and you will get at least 80 percent of results telling you how to avoid them, why you shouldn’t be friends with them, and how they are dragging you down.

For me this is a sad thing.

What causes the negativity? It may be something that happened to them, or it could even be depression. What I don’t understand is why can’t we support them and care for them instead of finding a way to “get rid” of them from our lives. And no offence but if someone is positive enough, isn’t it true that they can affect other people so how can be so affected by the negativity? ‘Negative people’ also need friends who understand them, they too need words of encouragement and motivation, they too… are human. So why can’t we treat them equally? Why can’t we give them a chance?

I do have one friend that fits the description of “negative people”. I never thought that I would be her friend because she likes to be alone and after I got to know her more, she says that no one wanted to spend time with her. We just sort of clicked and become friends. She talked to me when she felt down and I did the same. We laughed at silly things that we did and the friendship was not less than normal. Often, we are told that we are in charge of our own emotions. If so, how could you say that our emotion will be affected negatively simply because you spend time with someone negative? Isn’t it ironic?

I’m not asking you to be their friend straight away and I’m not telling you that they will open up to you in a second. Give them time, show them your support, and let them know that you will always be there for them.

Treat them like other people. If they feel sad and want someone to talk to, listen to them, hug them and tell them that they are not alone. After all, we are all human, living in the same complicated world.

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