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Asking for HELP!

تم نشرها

عضو منذ ١ يوليو، ٢٠١٦
  • 20 مشاركة
  • العمر 23

I’m ashamed to ask for help. Or maybe I know that there’s nobody out there to help me. There were days I felt I needed to save the world, that the world needed me. Why do I no longer care? Has the selfishness of this world taken its toll over me finally?

Why do I not like doing all that what always gave me peace? Why do I no longer seek help? Or friendships? Or companions? Why do I dread going out to meet people or even talking to anybody?

I know there’s something that has changed drastically. But I don’t quite know what it is. Once having all the zeal in me to continually help the world, go out and be nice, and understanding to everyone and everything around me, I no longer feel anything.

Can continuous heartbreaks from people around you make you this way? Is it the result of the beautiful efforts people take around you to misunderstand you and destroy you mentally? You’re fine physically, you’re smiling, but, you hate everyone and everything. Or more precisely you feel nothing anymore. No longer crave to be understood, no longer want to be loved.

At a point I thought maybe I was suffering from depression. And yes I was. It went away with time, I had to take efforts to improve my mental health on my own. But it came back, but this time I didn’t know what it exactly was. And researching I realised maybe I was suffering from Cyclothymia - I was elated for an hour and the next hour I felt depressed.

{For those you who don’t know, Cyclothymia is a milder form of Bipolar disorder which has mood swings ranging from depression to hypomania.}

What did I do next? I again understand my thoughts and my life and all the incidents that took place which could have led me into suffering from such a mental disorder. I helped myself. Or rather, I tried to help myself. And I got pretty good results. Because the mood swings stopped, but I stopped feeling any happiness. Nothing made me elated anymore, some part of me deep inside died. It’s no longer available. I don’t know when I will be able to feel it again. I don’t know.

That’s also the reason I stopped writing. It has taken me immense courage to put my thoughts down today. I suffered thinking it doesn’t need to be expressed because people who didn’t think once before spreading negativity, the ones who lead fake lives all over social media, the ones who hurt me, those very people, wouldn’t have even understood what I felt. And I would have been the “topic of discussion” again. So, there wasn’t any good in reaching out to anyone or in asking for help.

But now I do, because it’s high time we humans behave humanly. The biggest blessing we have is to feel, and we have ruined it with our particular sense of life. Being practical, being “professional” is way more important than feeling what we feel and analysing what we did before we go to sleep.

It’s high time we learn how to treat people better. At least treat the ones who treat you well with the same amount of love and respect and we can let the other ones just be available to their own karma.

I know for most of the people this piece of writing would not even be a serious matter. I wonder how many of you will actually sit and think about it, because most of you will ask – why to share such personal details, how does it matter? Exactly for all of you I wrote this, to prove that I’m not weak. And more over, I wrote it because I survived it.

Therefore, this piece is not for all of you. It’s just for some. Who are open to change. Who feel. Who know the purpose behind this life. Who live a life beyond Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram. And more than that, who respect the caring being in a soul. The rest can, read, laugh, gossip and go back to sleep.

Note from Voices of Youth:

Are you constantly feeling sad or having lots of negative thoughts?

You are not alone - there are options available to help you. If you think you might be suffering from depression speak to someone you trust about your feelings. Talk to a professional, such as a doctor, mental health professional, counsellor or social worker. If you think you are in immediate danger of harming yourself contact the emergency services or a crisis line, or go there directly.

Remember that with the right help, you can get better.

You can get more information here.

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